Picture this: a horse farm in the rolling hills north of the GTA, near Flesherton. The dew-covered grass bathed in the morning sunshine, broken by weathered wooden fencing that follows the terrain. The stage now set its time that we fill it with people gathered to celebrate a common goal. This is how my day began.
Sarah, her daughter, one of her partners Chris, and I were traveling to this farm to participate in a photo shoot for Maclean’s magazine. This photograph meant the world to Sarah and the rest of us. I’m relatively new to this whole situation and this weekend was probably the first time I truly began to understand what polyamory is. Just a few months ago, I wouldn’t have imagined myself in this situation—I wasn’t mature enough, nor was I mentally ready. I’d pretty much given up on dating, honestly. My own personal story is one of rocky relationships ending badly, leading me to give up.
But two months ago, I decided to start seeing Sarah. We’ve had a few dates, our first one being an epic visit to Gatineau Park, and our second big one to Iowa, as well as lots of little ones here and there. We’ve spent a lot of time together since then, navigating ups and downs with other partners. Surprisingly, this has been one of the easiest relationships I’ve ever been in.
Let me tell you about this little adventure we went on. We decided to take a trip to get this photograph done for a Maclean’s article about Sarah and the poly life. Sarah, her daughter, and I drove to St. Catharines, Ontario, to pick up her partner Chris who works at a really awesome game store. I might have spent some money there, but it was worth it as part of the trip.
With some extra time on our hands, we decided to check out a big rusty boat marooned in a harbor. I had driven by it a few times and always wanted to stop. The boat made for a picturesque location to take a breather. As I took pictures, Sarah took my phone, as she often does, to capture her shots. I had a silly moment and realized I had forgotten the SD card from my camera. Despite this, I managed to get some amazing shots.
While we were there, we heard drums and decided to investigate. It turned out to be a race on Lake Ontario, part of a big family celebration. I took some pictures from inside the water, and in a spontaneous moment, I tore off my shirt, handed Sarah all my stuff, and dove into the lake. Floating in the cool water, I looked up at the sky, enjoying the moment. Life over the past three years had been quite gray, but this was a bright spot. I sat there floating in the cool waters of Lake Ontario thinking about everything that has led to this moment. It was just one of those nice moments where you take a pause to reflect on the little decisions that brought you here. It was a moment of pure bliss, a feeling that I had not felt much of in my previous years.
Fast forward to our arrival at the horse farm in the middle of the night. Everyone from Sarah’s side was there. Having all arrived we all got settled in and just hung out for a bit and made sleeping arrangements. At some point PJ being adventurous suggested we catch the sunrise at a local trail, about 8 of us decided to go on a hike to see some waterfalls at 4 AM. It was a 25-minute walk down a dirt road in the pitch black to the Hog’s Falls Loop. We had flashlights and an interactive map to guide us. Despite our best efforts, we completely missed the waterfall, hearing them but not seeing them.
Determined, we decided to try again at sunrise. We snapped beautiful shots of the sunrise and Sarah got some awesome macro shots. We then managed to catch some shut-eye before the day’s events. Unfortunately, a medical emergency occurred, and I sprang to my feet to help. It wasn’t as bad as I initially thought, but it felt good to be of assistance.
As we waited for the photographer, I helped figure out a location for family portraits. We chose the rear of the barn and managed to get some great shots. The photographer, a wonderful woman, took the official photos, and we wrapped up the session.
On the way home, I couldn’t help but feel happy. Tomorrow, I would bring my children to Sarah’s house to meet her children. I’m excited because this is somewhere I want to be for a very long time.
In conclusion, six months ago, I never would have imagined being in the situation I am today. It’s one of the most wonderful situations I’ve been in because I get both a sense of community and the joy of making someone I love very happy. Before you question what we’re doing, know that we exist in a situation filled with love for each other. Yes, we have our challenges, but we work through them, becoming better people and making life slightly better for one another.
I hope you enjoyed reading this. If you catch the Maclean’s article on Sarah, please give it a read. My name’s Ken, and I’m the guy in the purple shirt in the pictures.
Photos Credit Sarah Stuart & Kenneth M Bowman from Sarahstewartphotography.com
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