So far, both Ken and Jenn have shared their perspectives on our adventure to Flesherton. Initially, it felt a bit strange to tell the same story from multiple viewpoints. However, upon reflection, I see this as a beautiful way to showcase the diversity of perspectives in our community.
A few weeks ago, I was invited to participate in a feature on polyamory for Maclean’s magazine. The lead-up involved interviews, fact-checking, and editor discussions, but the most challenging part was that the magazine wanted a photo that included all of us. Getting a family photo doesn’t seem like it should be monumental task, but with 14 of us, sporadic child schedules, varying work commitments, some family members living in different cities, and Jenn away on a work retreat, getting us all together seemed nearly impossible.
Initially, we suggested creating a collage of our family members in the style of art Josh and I do at Papercutz to avoid the logistical challenge. When that didn’t meet the magazine’s needs for consistent imaging, I offered to photograph us myself, given my 20 years of experience with Sarah Stewart Photography. Unfortunately, the magazine had its own photographers, and with such short notice, there was no time for changes. So, I went into problem-solving mode, mapping out everyone’s schedules to find a single day when everyone could be present. That one day, however, saw us spread across four towns.
I was deeply touched that everyone was willing to participate in the photoshoot. Being featured as a polyamorous family in a national magazine requires a lot of bravery.
Our restrictions were numerous: The kids were only with me from the 13th of July, and the photo deadline was the 17th. Chris had only two days off, Jenn was on retreat at a farm in Flesherton, and Lily (my daughter) had plans with her boyfriend. We were also preparing for the World Boardgaming Championships, wrapping up work, and juggling various commitments, including Josh’s heart clinic appointment on the 16th and client shoots with Ken and Adam on the same day. Despite Jenn and Chris’s offer to opt out to simplify matters, I wasn’t willing to exclude anyone just to make things easier – our family had overcome many challenges already and we would find a way through this one too. I identify that if we all traveled to Flesherton on the 14th, we could shoot on the 15th and return home that same day.
We arrived late on the 14th and enjoyed catching up and spending time together. There were lots of chats and snuggles, especially since some of us hadn’t seen each other for quite some time! I was aware that some people were more comfortable than others – 14 people in the same space is a lot, after all and filled with gratitude that they were still willing to hang out in the Zone of Discomfort to do something they knew would make me very happy.
Having everyone in one place was truly magical. I can’t even describe how meaningful it was to have us all together for the first time, celebrating the love and connection that binds us. It felt like a dream come true, witnessing the joy of our family all in one spot. The evening was a beautiful celebration of our community and the immense love that surrounds us. Seeing everyone interact, bond, and support each other was a profound reminder of how blessed I am to have such incredible people in my life. It was a night filled with laughter, warmth, and gratitude.
The trip itself was memorable. We took three cars: Ken, Dahlia, and I traveled together, picking up Chris from the Niagara region. We detoured for a mini adventure, photographing a rusty boat in Lake Ontario before heading to Flesherton. Even small adventures mean a lot to me, and this was no exception. The rest of the family, minus Jenn who was already there, split between our minivan and PJ’s car.
Upon arrival, PJ and the kids found a nearby hiking trail, and we planned a 4am hike to catch the sunrise over a waterfall. Although we missed the waterfall in the dark, the hike was still fantastic and the time spent with family surrounded by nature, the sounds of the waterfall rushing and the birds greeting the morning, is a memory that will last forever.
We took gorgeous photos of the sunrise on the walk back from our hike, delighting in the dewdrops shimmering in the morning sun. Back at the farm, before the official photos, Ken and I set up a camera in the barn and took family photos in various configurations, except for the full family shot, which the official photographer captured later. I am so grateful to have had those moments with the family, capturing our love for each other.
The shoot with the official photographer was a blast. She chose several locations on the farm, and learned quickly the posing (and remembering the names of) 14 people can be a bit of a challenge! In the end, she captured beautiful images and we now have a captured memory of such a magical moment for our family.
This experience reaffirmed how incredible my family is. Their willingness to embark on this adventure made me immensely happy. It was heartwarming to see everyone bonding in different ways and growing more comfortable with each other. It was an extraordinary experience that meant the world to me. It’s comforting to know that we can come together to tackle challenges and achieve a common goal.
Though the final article itself may be brief and factual, not fully capturing the depth of our family dynamics, I hope it piques curiosity and encourages people to head to Google to find out what exactly is up with this huge, weird, Polykindred family.
Ideally, the Maclean’s article can serve as a springboard for sharing our family stories and illustrating that love comes in many forms. The world can be a cruel and heartless place, and I endeavor to use any platform we have to remind people that we can all contribute to making the world a better place through love, kindness, collaboration, and connection.
Photos Credit Sarah Stuart & Kenneth M Bowman from Sarahstewartphotography.com
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